raisin'

i just realized how ungrateful i've been, but yet i call myself grateful for all that has been granted to me. i know it sounds cheesy, but just watching this movie, "raisin in the sun", has reminded me of the sacrifices that others have made so that i could be in the situation that i am in. i was raised in the suburbs, i went to college, i have my own place and car. just a few decades ago, this would have not been as easy.

although i have been subject to racism, some overt and some very subtle, at least i have been allowed the opportunity because of the struggle of my ancestors. my father, lived in prince edward county, during the height of brown vs. board of education. the school system, as opposed to integrating, shut down the public schools and opened private ones for the white children. most children's parents couldn't afford to move, or didn't have relatives to take them in elsewhere. so, they just didn't go, they had no other option. my grandparents however, had the means to rent a house in another county so my father and his brothers were able to continue their education.

my father was salutatorian of the first graduating class of the newly "integrated" high school in prince edward county. he went on to college and then joined the military. he went to war and survived to have me and my sister. he went on to graduate school and as a result, our family has never wanted and has lived richly. i went to school without having to worry about they money to pay for it during or after. i had a roof over my head and food to eat. i learned how to read, and learned so much more, something that at one point was illegal....

i bitch about my existence, or the misery of it. but yet, in watching this movie and many others, i am constantly reminded of where i have come from. the people that i come from. i owe them. i owe them to live better and to honor their sacrifices and their hope in persevering, to know it wouldn't all be for naught. i owe them for knowing that it would be better for their children, grandchildren and so on. they took that step towards freedom and empowerment so that i could enjoy the freedoms, rights and joys that are available to me, in this day and age. freedoms and rights that they themselves never enjoyed or enjoyed on a limited status.

for that, i will try and do better. they deserve that honor, they've earned that right. just as they earned me mine, my many rights. for that i will be eternally grateful, and pass it on to my children and to whoever else will listen. we may not be at our most graceful and or grateful, but we must acknowledge them. we must remember the opportunity that is now always present and who it was who bled for us, who suffered for us, who loved us that much to make it worth their while. they deserve our utmost respect and gratitude. i have been raised by giants in amongst a world of ants. i will never, ever, forget that.

to all of my ancestors, to my grandparents, to my parents. thank you.... i am overwhelmed by your love and dedication. i only hope to be worthy of your sacrifice. i will do my best to make you proud. thank you, thank you, and thank you again. i will never be able to say it enough.