heh.

oh my god. i just wrote a wonderful post illustrating how god damn (sorry) awful this month has been and i just fucking deleted it.

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! if you see a crazy lady with her dirty hair rolled up in haphazard bun, and a lint-ball-y sweater running around screaming, that would be me.

so did i tell you this month sucks? it sucks so fucking bad. for everyone i know, except for my friend toni, who had a surprise birthday party thrown for her, and she's leaving to go to the bahamas tomorrow with her man. i hate her. i don't even know why i hang out with her. she sucks too. meh. yeah, so everyone has been caught up in this funnel of suck, but i have something that gives me gravity during these trying times. alcohol. particularly, vodka and tequila, in no particular order. oh, and beer too.

so, i'm hoping that my weekend will be wonderfully boring. my sister is coming over and i think i shall reel her into the dark and grimy world of comcast's on demand KARAOKE! i am certain there will be choreography with said karaoke and i know she is going to JAM (ohhh jam)! i think i should put down towels and padding though, because after my sister has a few drinks, her bones and joints don't work. and well, gravity has a field day with that sort of thing. so needless to say, i think we shall both be sufficiently entertained. but i can't talk, because well, gravity and i have had some disagreements before, and he's an abusive lover. he beats me. he beats me bad.

wow... ummm, can we pause for a minute? i fear that i may have just talked out of my ass (that smell isn't me, see upper lip). i JUST talked about how alcohol gives me gravity and then i discuss how me and gravity don't get along. yeeeahhh. unfortunately, this brand of circular logic is something that i excel at. and i'm not even drinking yet! i really should stop while i'm ahead...moving along.....

i think this post perfectly illustrates how tragic this month has been. and it's a leap year! so we have one. extra. day. of feeling like we're being clubbed in the head, like baby seals, repeatedly. i fear the bloodshed will be horrific. FEBRUARY ALEXANDER JONES! what do you have to say for yourself?! nothing? yeah, well fuck you too. at least there's vodka, tequila, and beer too. i find comfort in the little things, like blogging at work, whilst dreaming of margaritas. which i'm doing for the first time EVAR! not the dreaming of margaritas (puh-leeze), but blogging at work. which is an excellent time suck, which is a form of suck i enjoy.

so happy friday everyone! i hope your month is going SO much better than mine.