mortal enemies...

So... you know how it is. You drink some coffee in the morning, have that full belly before lunch, and want to "clear the decks" if you will, before you sink your teeth into your "sandwich bread" (Arnold's Sandwich-Thins). IF! you're lucky, you may get to hit that biggest stall at the end, before you blow the whistle for the day... literally and figuratively speaking.

But, we all know what happens. Whether it be at 8:30 am, 11:00 am, 2:00 pm, 2:07 pm, 2:08 pm, 3:13 pm, 3:17 pm, 4:03 pm, etc. That b*tch is always there. Who's that b*tch? The same evil person who props the door open as you're wiping... Yes! That's right! THE CLEANING LADY!!! I like to think they synchronize their watches with Satan. Because who would be so mean to allow the WHOLE WORLD hear what you pee-stream sounds like and how long it takes you to get your, at sometimes literally, your sh*t together?!

I know it's your job lady. But seriously? We are about to fight! I try to be consistent, and adjust to your schedule, but you are either getting slower or moving faster. Either way: No BUENO!

So, in closing: *BBBBRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT* Sorry. Knock First.